As an artist, I’m not really sure who I am or where I’m going. I don’t want my art to embody many of the things I’m told it ought to in order to be significant. I’m not interested in critiquing society or taking some cultural stand through my art, but it doesn’t feel like I can even be valid as an artist unless I do. Am I a lesser artist for not being an activist through art? I just want to create things that are enchanting and peaceful and beautiful. The world appears to be ending, and everyone is tired and angry and afraid. I just want the things I create to bring a little bit of happiness and peace to people in a way that brings me a little bit of happiness and allows me a modest income. The last thing I want my art to be is some lofty, self-righteous monument upon which to perch and point fingers. How could I possibly connect to my peers in that way?  Similarly, I lack the confidence to bare much of myself to the world in an act of self-expression.  However, the older I get, the more I realize that, especially in art, just because something has been done some way in the past or is accepted in some way, it’s not necessarily “right,” and there isn’t necessarily a “right” at all. I’m a meek person and a weak artist, who creates art pandering to an uninitiated audience, and that’s who I am. Some people like that and will give me money to be that, so I think that might be all I aspire to be.  
I do have beliefs that I express through my work, but I say things less directly (unless a class grade depends on it) and often in the background of whatever other story I’m telling. For example, much of my art is created utilizing the same pale pink color. This is an unprofessional color, but I use it because I disagree with the empowerment of women requiring us to be more masculine instead of destigmatizing things traditionally associated with women. I put a lot of time and effort into almost everything I make, which reflects a high regard for technical proficiency and work ethic. I paint in Photoshop with conscious disdain toward people who view digital work as easier or lesser than traditional methods. No single piece of my art is about these concepts or depends on them, but they’re reflected in the majority of what I create. In this sense, I think all works, even all actions in general, are self-expressive, political, and capable of influencing culture in some way, my work being no exception.  
Going forward, I never see work like mine or much work that I like in galleries, so I don’t think my place is as an artist who hangs work on walls. I love the online space because I get to interact with an audience from all over the world in a setting where I can speak comfortably, and my work is primarily digital paintings and drawings, so of course it looks best in its native environment. I’ve been able to cover my basic expenses through character portrait commissions, so I always have that to fall back on, especially if I move out of California. Ideally, I’d like to use my skills to create concept art and illustrations for games, movies, books, etc., but those jobs are hard to come by, so it’s definitely a long term goal.
