Elaborating on the perceived lack of agency, she noted that early on, she had sworn to herself that she would never be a stay-at-home mom, and would always work. It had been very important to her as a young woman that she be able to save for retirement and for her children and to be able to support herself “because I didn’t want to be screwed if a man decided to leave me”. I asked her about the origin of this fervent belief, which she attributes to seeing other women go through divorce and being destitute if they had never had any sort of training, as well as to feminist ideals present at the time. However, she had become a stay-at-home mom, and I asked her how that decision was made at the time, which she indicated was a product of economic constraints and stress. While she worked for the first years of my brother’s life and had help from her mother in childcare, when my sister was born, she had to consider daycare, which would have taken all of her earnings. Additionally, my mom was responsible for the entirety of child transportation, housework, and cooking (even when she was working), so the stress had no economic benefit. 
Despite feeling these pressures, she’s clearly had a self-directed career; she started a clothing business, so I asked about and how she developed a sense of agency and control. She attributes this to her divorce, at which point she had been a stay-at-home mom after quitting the bank, and had started her art business, and had to decide whether to go back into banking or pursue her art. It was an interesting crossroads for her when she was essentially choosing between a career and a calling orientation (in the Wrzesniewski sense). On the one hand, she desired financial stability, which drew her towards the bank, work that she liked and would be secure in. On the other, she loved her art and didn’t want to give up on what she had started. She was driven to make things, and enjoyed and was good at the work. She identified most with the “work itself” and the “place in the occupational division” definitions of callings. Ultimately, her love of the art, childcare requirements, and her fear of having to manage others led to her decision to pursue art. She noted, however, how hard it was. She looked after Jess and Laura, getting up early with them and working until midnight or later (and this is a woman who goes to bed at 8 or 9 now). In this sense, there was a price to following the calling. 
