<s>CMV: People who cheat on their spouses can and should, in some cases, be forgiven
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[USER0]
[(0, '[USER0]')]
[NEWLINE] There seems to be a commonly held belief that people who cheat on their SO/partner should be dropped immediately with no further contact. 
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[NEWLINE] I understand that physical/sexual conduct with another person can seem like a betrayal, but in some cases, there are many worse things that can happen in a relationship, which couples seem to be able to work through. 
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[NEWLINE] There are a few assumptions underlying the belief that " sex with another person = relationship over " that I don't think hold up. 
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[NEWLINE]
[(0, '[NEWLINE]')]
[NEWLINE] *  * * Sex is the most important part of a relationship, * * and therefore, betraying it and that agreement mean the relationship should end. 
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[NEWLINE] My belief : sex is a very important part of a relationship, but not * the * most important part. 
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[NEWLINE] Immediately breaking up with someone because of something like this seems excessive.
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[NEWLINE]
[(0, '[NEWLINE]')]
[NEWLINE] *  * * Nobody makes mistakes ever, * * so when they do, the relationship should end. 
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[NEWLINE] My belief : obviously this isn't true, and a cornerstone of strong relationships is the ability to work through mistakes/issues together. 
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[NEWLINE]
[(0, '[NEWLINE]')]
[NEWLINE] *  * * Cheaters will always cheat again, * * so better to end it now. my view : That may be true in some cases, but other than anecdotal evidence, I haven't seen anything to support this claim.  [
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[NEWLINE] But would be really interested in reading anything scientific about this, actually! ]
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[NEWLINE]
[(0, '[NEWLINE]')]
[NEWLINE] *  * * Cheaters cheat because of underlying issues with the relationship. * * My belief : if that's true, there are a lot of possibilities - not just breaking up - that could fix the problem, such as... talking about the problem. 
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[NEWLINE] Maybe fixing that issue will resolve the motivation to cheat. 
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[NEWLINE] Caveat : sometimes, cheating happens because there are parts of the relationship that are fundamentally broken and/or the relationship is too far gone/unsalvageable and/or this is the straw the broke the camel's back etc. 
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[NEWLINE]  Cheating shouldn't always signify an immediate end to a relationship. 
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[NEWLINE]  In some cases, couples can and should choose to work through it.
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[NEWLINE] CMV!
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[NEWLINE]
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[USER1]
[(0, '[USER1]')]
[NEWLINE] I don't think this depends as much on the cheater as the person he/she cheated on. 
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[NEWLINE] Some people are unable to stay with an unfaithful partner and should not be pressured into continuing a relationship after that point. 
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[NEWLINE] Forgiveness depends on the forgiver, not the perpetrator. 
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[NEWLINE] Nobody " should " be forgiven for cheating, and I'm comfortable saying that anyone who knowingly betrays the trust of a relationship would deserve losing that relationship. 
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[NEWLINE] I wouldn't go so far as to say that it's expected to break up with the cheater, because some people are willing to be forgiving. 
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[NEWLINE]  But I can't envision a situation where cheating " should " be forgiven. 
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[NEWLINE]  Forgiveness is a gift, not an expectation. 
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[NEWLINE]
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[USER0]
[(0, '[USER0]')]
[NEWLINE]
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[NEWLINE] [DELTA]
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[NEWLINE] This makes the most sense to me - very coherent argument.
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[NEWLINE] Thanks!
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